When I became a father, I expected sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and complete chaos.

What I didn't expect was a new level of performance.

There's something about having children that snaps your priorities into place. Suddenly, all the excuses you used to make—about time, about focus, about energy—no longer hold up. You don't get to "wait for the right moment" anymore. You have to show up now.

And that pressure? It became fuel.

Many people worry that becoming a parent will negatively impact their performance. For me (and an experience shared by many of my clients), it is the opposite.

Fatherhood forces clarity. I had to cut the fluff. Eliminate distractions. Work with precision. Recover with intention. Every action had to matter—because every minute away from my child had to count for something.

What surprised me most was how much more I had to give once I connected my performance to something greater than myself.

Happy Father's Day to all the amazing dads out there!

Coach’s Corner

Being a father has been more rewarding than any personal accomplishment I've ever achieved, and it's made accomplishments I've achieved since all the more impactful.

This experience not only gives me a chance to share what I've learned about high performance, but it also serves as a mirror that reflects areas in myself that still need improvement (and there are definitely many).

It's an opportunity to teach and an opportunity to be taught.

I won't claim to have all the answers when it comes to parenthood, but I can share what I've learned so far about being a high-performance father.

Be The Example

Elliot often says that your greatest gift to the world is becoming the best version of yourself, and that impact hits hardest at home.

Children learn from example and model the behavior of those closest to them.

Seeing me nail all my weekly workouts (and joining me for them as they get older) does more to teach them the importance of fitness than telling them it's necessary a thousand times.

Sharing the projects I'm working on and keeping them up to date on my progress does more to instill values of discipline and hard work than any lectures or speeches ever will.

Saying "Please" and "Thank You" when I speak to them naturally installs these habits, and the beautiful part is when they say it to others, you know they actually mean it.

"Because I said so..."

Is a phrase I keep out of my parenting vocabulary.

It's easy to try to use the inherent authority position of parenthood to try to mold the beliefs and habits you want to instill in your children, but how you really install these traits is by being an example of what you want them to become.

You Don't Need To Be A Super Hero To Be Someone's Hero

One of the biggest traps in the self-development world is the never-ending pursuit of perfection.

The belief that if things aren't perfect, then they aren't good, which by definition means you aren't good enough.

To me, self-development is about understanding that perfection doesn't exist, and that's OK. This shift allows me the freedom to identify areas of my life where I want to see improvement and enjoy the incremental growth I make rather than shooting for an impossible goal and throwing it all away when I inevitably fall short.

When it comes to fatherhood, it's tempting to want your kids to see you as Superman.

This feels like it's giving them a strong foundation to grow from, but what it's really doing is giving them an unrealistic expectation of who they need to be to be "good enough."

"Hero" is already the default mode for you in your children's eyes; trying to be perfect is where things go wrong.

Do Better Than Those Before You

Our coaches specialize in untangling the detrimental subconscious programs we develop during our formative years.

The work we do is all about breaking generational programs that hold us back from being the best version of ourselves.

One thing I've learned is that as a parent, no matter how hard you try, you're bound to do something that will negatively affect your children subconsciously down the line.

It's inevitable.

We talk a lot about iteration in this newsletter. Consistently making micro-adjustments that might not seem meaningful at the moment but are massive when compounded over time.

Good parenting is the iteration of the human race at scale.

Go back a few generations, and parenting practices that are viewed as unacceptable now were considered best practices then.

Jump forward a few generations, and I'm certain we'll be viewed in the same way.

My goal as a father is to use this knowledge to do better than those who came before me. Not because I'm inherently better or wiser than they were but because I'm able to build upon the iterations they provided.

With few exceptions, parents want their children to live in a better world than they did. If you take anything away from this week's edition, know that by reading this, you're already participating in this collective goal.

Whether you have kids, will have kids, or live in a world where kids exist, the act of improving yourself will have a ripple effect that makes a difference.

So, if you're a father, I hope you have a wonderful day. And if you're not, try to let one know that they're doing a great job.

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